Our story for our home schooling decision began 2 years ago when we adopted our third child.
After a two year wait, we finally went to China to get her on Christmas 2009. We came back home in January of 2010, with a four year old girl, who could not speak a word of English! I took a month off of work to try and help her get used to us. I look back on that now, and am amazed at my thought process of only a month to make this happen.
I went back to work in February, placed her in daycare, and resumed life as normal. Then I started to notice that these two were suffering.
You see, our little girl was very angry. Growing up in an orphanage and many issues to work through was hard for her, but it was taking its toll on them as well. They did not know how to treat her as a sister and began to withdraw. I dealt with things by working and so did Mr. Bits. I would work all day, pick up the kids, listen to our little girl yell at me for hours, and then put her to bed. Next day, repeat. All the while knowing something needed to be done, but did not know what to do.
Summer came, and school was over. During that summer of spending time together, I noticed things improving. She still focused all of her anger on me. Which is expected. Most children who have been adopted from an orphanage and who have so much trauma, focus their anger on the mother figure. Most abandonment occurs from the female in their lives. Still, I planned for the upcoming school year. I got my lesson plans together, and enrolled the kids in daycare. Still confused and scared. I knew what I must do, but did not want to.
I started the school year and her anger became worse again. At Christmas I was so overwhelmed with the situation in our family, I could no longer ignore it. My husband and I talked. We then talked with the social worker, and made our decision. It was drastic. I would not be returning to work the next semester. I did not know how things would work out. I needed to tell my boss, who I was really good friends with. I did not know if there would be someone to take my place. Everything was up in the air, but I knew I had to stop working.
Within two weeks, a qualified replacement was found. Training went smoothly, and I did not lose my friendship with my boss. She understood completely. In fact, everyone understood.
We found a place that specialized in adoptive child and family therapy. We went on a waiting list for 3 months. That is a long time and it made me realize how many families who have adopted need help. We are normal. Which was a relief to figure out.
However, other events took place. Suddenly, my husband needed to be deployed. So, dealing with a family who was already slightly broken apart, I then needed to prepare myself and them for life without him. The next school year was quickly approaching. I went ahead and enrolled them into school, all the while not quite comfortable with the decision. Mr. Bits was gone, my kids were not happy, and my littlest was going through so much. You see, she was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She was working through so much in her little life. We were and still are quite affected by what she has worked through. I knew then I had to make another drastic decision. I needed to home school. We needed to come together as a family. We needed to become a team again.
Oh, did I receive so much resistance. Some people agreed with what I was doing, but many questioned. And rightly so. I had to be prepared to answer these questions and justify my decision. Even with resistance, I knew that I needed to home school.
All of this brings us to today. Why I am writing this post. You see, I had to make hard decisions about how to simplify my life. I had to make sacrifices, and still do. There are days when I am positive I have made the right decisions. I feel confident. I feel secure. There are days when I feel depressed and do not know if I have made the right choices. I feel lonely. I feel scared. I feel as though others see me as just a homeschooling housewife. There are many days I do not feel respected for my decisions, or that the work I have chosen to do is laughed at by today's world. However, what I am learning is that these are just feelings. They may or may not be true, but I have chosen to live this way for the betterment of my family.
Sometimes, the decisions we have to make to live simply are some of the most life changing and difficult decisions we will ever have to make. That is why they are so scary. We do not know how things are going to turn out. My strength has come through my faith in God. Without him, I could not have gotten through my lowest moments. You must find strength to find your way through, to keep going.
Our journey is far from over. In fact, we are still in the beginning. We will spend a lifetime of making tough simple living decisions. The key to making these decisions is to make them and stick with them. There will be resistance, there will be questions. But stick to your guns! They are your decisions, from your heart, given to you by God. In the end, they are what is best for you and those who are closest to you.
I went back to work in February, placed her in daycare, and resumed life as normal. Then I started to notice that these two were suffering.
Summer came, and school was over. During that summer of spending time together, I noticed things improving. She still focused all of her anger on me. Which is expected. Most children who have been adopted from an orphanage and who have so much trauma, focus their anger on the mother figure. Most abandonment occurs from the female in their lives. Still, I planned for the upcoming school year. I got my lesson plans together, and enrolled the kids in daycare. Still confused and scared. I knew what I must do, but did not want to.
I started the school year and her anger became worse again. At Christmas I was so overwhelmed with the situation in our family, I could no longer ignore it. My husband and I talked. We then talked with the social worker, and made our decision. It was drastic. I would not be returning to work the next semester. I did not know how things would work out. I needed to tell my boss, who I was really good friends with. I did not know if there would be someone to take my place. Everything was up in the air, but I knew I had to stop working.
Within two weeks, a qualified replacement was found. Training went smoothly, and I did not lose my friendship with my boss. She understood completely. In fact, everyone understood.
We found a place that specialized in adoptive child and family therapy. We went on a waiting list for 3 months. That is a long time and it made me realize how many families who have adopted need help. We are normal. Which was a relief to figure out.
However, other events took place. Suddenly, my husband needed to be deployed. So, dealing with a family who was already slightly broken apart, I then needed to prepare myself and them for life without him. The next school year was quickly approaching. I went ahead and enrolled them into school, all the while not quite comfortable with the decision. Mr. Bits was gone, my kids were not happy, and my littlest was going through so much. You see, she was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She was working through so much in her little life. We were and still are quite affected by what she has worked through. I knew then I had to make another drastic decision. I needed to home school. We needed to come together as a family. We needed to become a team again.
Oh, did I receive so much resistance. Some people agreed with what I was doing, but many questioned. And rightly so. I had to be prepared to answer these questions and justify my decision. Even with resistance, I knew that I needed to home school.
All of this brings us to today. Why I am writing this post. You see, I had to make hard decisions about how to simplify my life. I had to make sacrifices, and still do. There are days when I am positive I have made the right decisions. I feel confident. I feel secure. There are days when I feel depressed and do not know if I have made the right choices. I feel lonely. I feel scared. I feel as though others see me as just a homeschooling housewife. There are many days I do not feel respected for my decisions, or that the work I have chosen to do is laughed at by today's world. However, what I am learning is that these are just feelings. They may or may not be true, but I have chosen to live this way for the betterment of my family.
Sometimes, the decisions we have to make to live simply are some of the most life changing and difficult decisions we will ever have to make. That is why they are so scary. We do not know how things are going to turn out. My strength has come through my faith in God. Without him, I could not have gotten through my lowest moments. You must find strength to find your way through, to keep going.
Our journey is far from over. In fact, we are still in the beginning. We will spend a lifetime of making tough simple living decisions. The key to making these decisions is to make them and stick with them. There will be resistance, there will be questions. But stick to your guns! They are your decisions, from your heart, given to you by God. In the end, they are what is best for you and those who are closest to you.
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